Hurt Chapter 1
by TimeLord1
Summary: The Doctor is lonely, no matter where he is or what he's doing. Inspired by the song "Hurt" by Johnny Cash/Trent Reznor...I dunno. I'm terrible at summaries. It's WAY better than I'm describing it here. Chapter 2's song is "You Surround Me" by Erasure. It's totally awesome, and you should listen to it. I will be adding a song every chapter, so check back to this summary for a list
1. Chapter 1

The Doctor swung the sledgehammer over his head mustering all the strength in his bones; and brought it down as hard as he could, burying the metal head deep into his target. There was a thick, wet crunch and bits of flesh flew up and spattered his face. The Doctors expression never changed from one of maniac glee whilst he swung the hammer and brought it down again and again, until nothing remained of his target but a red, dripping mass of pulp. He tried not to think about how very _much _he was enjoying his work. When, it was finished, he dropped the hammer, head down, and let the handle fall out of his hands, like an afterthought.

_I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
The only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
The old familiar sting  
Try to kill it all away  
But I remember everything_

Rose waited until he'd abandoned the hammer before approach him. "It's done," she said taking his sticky, dripping hand. "We're safe. The universe is safe."

The Doctor gave her a weary half-smile and licked the drippings from his free hand. "Safe for now, anyway," he said.

_What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

"What happens now?" Rose asked, daring to glance back at the puddle of carnage they were leaving behind.

"We get out of here, before someone finds what's left and they try to find the one who did it. We'll be halfway across the galaxy by then." Said the Doctor.

Rose's stomach clenched a little. "But your fingerprint's are all over the hammer. Shouldn't we take it with us?"

_I wear this crown of thorns  
Upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
The feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here_

The Doctor smirked. "I'm going to be conspicuous enough walking out of the building. If I brought the hammer with me, we'd never make it back to the TARDIS. The good news is that Time Lords don't technically have fingerprints the way humans do. Besides, I'm not entirely sure this planet has developed so sophisticated a level of forensic technology. I mean," he jerked his head backwards towards the remains. "Look at who and what they choose for their gods."

"Shouldn't we get the rest of them too?" Rose asked. They were walking through a white stone corridor, and she couldn't help noticing that the Doctor's trainers were leaving a trail of pink footprints behind them. "Maybe you should take your shoes off."

He stopped walking, looked behind him at the footprints. Slightly his brow furrowed. "Quite right." He toed off his trainers and, tying the laces together, slung them over his shoulder and continued walking. He winked at her, "Barefoot on a moon."

The bits of flesh that fell from where they'd landed on his suit, there was nothing they could do about them.

The hallway gave way to a grand staircase, made of the same white, stone as the hall. The ceiling, apparently, constructed from one solid sheet of glass, arched several dozen feet overhead, and the sun shined bright on them as down they walked. The sky was lemon yellow, with a scattering of orange clouds near the horizon.

_If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself _

_I would find a way_

There was a security guard at the bottom of the steps, like he was waiting for them. The doctor stopped walking, and Rose followed suit, glancing around nervously.

"What?" she asked. He indicated the guard with a nod of his head.

"Two options," he said. "Try to play it casual and walk out of here like we're Queens of The May, or make a run for it and we don't stop until we reach the tardis. It's your choice."

Rose paused for a moment to consider, "You know I love the running."

He nodded, "And the TARDIS isn't far."

"And you're obvious. The longer we stand here, the bigger a puddle you're leaving."

"Right," he said. "Only option is to run." He offered her his hand and she took it. They exchanged breathless grins and sprinted the rest of the way down the stairs, ignoring the guard's admonishment to slow down in a place of worship, and hit the doors at top speed, shoving them heavily out of the way as they made it into the open air and began a mad dash down the steps towards the TARDIS.

They were halfway there when the alarms started to sound.

"Faster!" The Doctor cried, pulling Rose along behind him. Even at some distance from the temple's front entrance, they could still hear the sharp clacking of several pairs of boot's coming down the steps towards them.

A laser blast tore over their heads and Rose screamed.

"Oh, now!" the Doctor shouted over his shoulder. "Isn't that a bit much?"

"Well," Rose gasped, "you did just do murder."

Another laser blast ripped through a decorative shrubbery as they passed, raining scorched leaves and petals down on them as they took a sudden right turn and found themselves barreling down a steep hill. The TARDIS was waiting for them, at the bottom of the hill.

"Completely justifiable, and only murder in the most technical sense of the word."

They spilled down the hillside, fighting to keep their feet under them as their momentum threatened to knock them off their feet and send them rolling out of control. When they got to the bottom of the hill the Doctor slid on his knees to stop himself from crashing into the tardis and Rose did the same but fell sort of forward onto her face. The Doctor jerked her to her feet and they went inside the Tardis, safe at last.

"We're safe at last," He said, sighing.

_What have I become  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know goes away  
In the end  
And you could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt_

"Why did you do it?" Rose asked, "Why was the safety of the universe dependint on that thing! Why did you kill it?"

The doctor smiled lovingly at her, with love in his eyes. "My darling Rose, it was never alive. What did it look like to you?"

"A watermelon," Rose said.

"And thats all it was," the Doctor said, "I swear it."

"Then, why were they worshipping it, like a God?" She asked.

The Doctor smiled even more lovingly. "Because they were told it was a god. This planet is ruled by a group of melon-worshipping rejects who call themselves Worshippers United. This use to be an open-minded planet with fair rules and a great sense of harmony. Then Worshippers United came and began turning everyone on the planet in to the authorities on every trumped-up charge they could imagine, under the guise of protecting the morality of the population. Then, once all the threats to their power were out of the way, Worshippers United took over the planet. They replaced all the true gods with their magical melons, and have been executing everyone who disagrees with their version of the rules of the planet. The regular, law-abiding citizens of Planet Fanficka have been in fear of these thugs for too long. Now that I smashed their main melon to bits, people will be able to see that their supposed gods are nothing but watermelons, and that everything Worshippers United stands for is a great big lie, and maybe they can be brought to justice. That's the hope, anyway. Now, get me a wet rag so I can get this juice off my hands. I'm all sticky."

_If I could start again  
A million miles away  
I would keep myself_

_I would find a way_


	2. Hurt Author's Notes on Chapter 1

Hurt notes: Chapter 1

Hurt is a song by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, and was made famous by the performance of Johnny Cash. The song conveys a deep sense of pain and isolations that are felt by the Doctor at all times, because he know's he's always alone, no matter how many people surround him. Just like Johnny Cash, and Trent Reznor.

There is a real sense of metafiction in this story, surrounding the story of the doctor and rose in the planet fanficka. I'm a fan of metafiction – the book House of Leaves by whoever wrote that book is truly something, and is worth a read if you are a fan of metafiction as I am. Also, Cryptonomicon by whoever wrote THAT.

I like to convey a sense of metafiction and loneliness in my DWFICS, and so the song lyrics combined with the overarching nature of the story outside the story will lead readers to a deeper understanding of what is going on in the meta-reality of the larger world, or at least I hope it will!

Thanks so much for reading this fic – it has meant so much to me to get it started. I want to thank some of my favorite online Buddies for their support and stuff: BoPeep3838, SmellMyFoot, Havanagila42, Auntie_Maim and Pudding-Pop0477. You guys are amazing, and I wouldn't be where I am without you! Thanks and love love love forever! Hugs! XoXoXo

Please leave me some feedback, because I want to have the most of everyone ever.


	3. Chapter 2

***INTER-TARDIS CHAT TRANSCRIPTION LOG #X0411MG***

***DATE: 6.6.12 TARDIS LOCAL TIME***

***LOCATION: VORTEX***

TERMINAL 1 (Location: TARDIS Central Control...Login: DR) - Rose, what are you doing?

TERMINAL 2 (Location: TARDIS Library 9...Login: RT) - Hiding from you.

DR - Wot? Why?

RT - TAKE A SHOWER!

DR - You don't think I look sexy with this juice all over me?

RT - Sexy? No. Creepy. It looks like blood.

DR - It's not blood, Rose. It's juice. Do you honestly think I would sit around covered in blood and not wash myself?

RT - I know that.

DR - Good.

RT - Why are we chatting when we could just talk in person?

DR - You tell me. Want to help me wash this juice off?

RT - Are you flirting with me, Doctor?

DR - Would I do that? *Winkyface*

RT - I think you are! What brought this on?

DR - Watermelon is a known afrodisiac.

RT - Is it, now?

DR - Want to test that theory?

RT - After you're shower.

TERMINAL 1 DISCONNECT

TERMINAL 2 DISCONNECT

_Don't ever let me take you for granted_

_You've got your finger on the pulse of my soul_

_Let me place a kiss in the small of your back_

_Love and protect you from the evils of this world_

Rose walked to the front of the ship and heard the water running and the Doctor singing in the shower as she walked. As she walked, she thought about the water running all over his lean, nakedness, washing away the juice of the dead watermelon as he scrubbed himself with his manly hairy hands. Suddenly, she couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough. When she burst in, breathless, his singing stopped.

"Rose, that you love?" He asked.

"It is," she answered, taking off her clothes and climbing into the shower. The Doctor was none to shocked to see her. "Hello," he said, putting his hands on her waste and drawing her near. "I thought you might join me."

They began to make out under the spray of the shower head, clutching each other but with their fingers slipping because of the soap and all the water.

_Baby don't ever leave me stranded_

_Who ever said that the streets were paved with gold?_

_We'll I'm afraid that we're all sadly mistaken_

_There's nothing here till we have someone to hold_

The water was warm, but their passion was hot, and the combination made the bathroom fill with the steam of newfound love. As he nibbled her collarbone and stroked her soapy lady-melons, the Doctor began to sing...

"_I love you with all the joy of living_

_Till the lights go down in New York City_

_It's a special love affair_

_There's magic in the air_

_You gotta shake me down_

_Bring me round to my senses_

_Till I'm lost and found_

_And you surround me with your senses"_

"Oh, Doctor!" Rose cried. "DOCTOR, DOCTOR, DOCTOR! I NEED YOU! I LOVE YOU!"

"I love you, too, Rose, my Rose," the Doctor murrmurred. "You're the only rose in the endless garden of my lifetimes."

They grasped at one another, kissing and licking and biting everywhere they could get hold. Once Rose got a mouthful of shampoo, but she spit it out and they continued to make out until the water ran cold and they fell out of the tub, wrapped in the shower curtain to cover their immodesty as they sucked the last of the water off each other. And then Rose sucked some more.

_If love wasn't here would we reinvent it?_

_Oh take me down to the very root of my soul_

_Oh baby say it as if you really mean it_

_And feel the passion work it's way up through your skin_

The Doctor cried out with the sheer force of his orgasmic orgasm and tore the shower curtain in half with his bare, wet hands. He scooped Rose up into his arms and carried her into his bedroom, threw her down on his hammock and began having sex. Rose screamed and screamed, and the Doctor screamed and screamed and then they began to sing together.

_Let me take you by the hand_

_And we can go and find a brand new world_

_Starlight, starbright_

_Let me take you by the hand_

_And lead you to a safe place in this world_

When it was all over, two hours later, Rose fell asleep against the Doctor's bare, just perfectly hairy enough chest, and slept. While she slept, the Doctor played with her hair and sang to her some more.

_Till I'm lost and found_

_And you surround me with your senses_

And then he slept, for the first time in nine weeks.

***INTER-TARDIS CHAT TRANSCRIPTION LOG #X0421MR***

***DATE: 6.7.12 TARDIS LOCAL TIME***

***LOCATION: LOW ORBIT OVER SOUTHERN MADAGASCAR***

TERMINAL 1 (Location: Bedroom...Login: DR) - Rose, what are you thinking about?

TERMINAL 2 (Location: Bedroom...Login: RT) - you.

DR - I love you.

RT - And I love you.

DR - Put that computer down and come snuggle with me.

RT - Yes sir.

TERMINAL 2 DISCONNECT

TERMINAL 1 DISCONNECT


	4. Hurt Author's Notes on Chapter 2

Author's Notes – Hurt: Chapter 2

Consider this chapter the calm before the storm. A moment of pure happiness before everything falls apart. I hope you enjoy the integration of song lyrics into my pieces…I try to find the most emotionally evocative songs available for each particular scene. I have a vast array of cassette tapes that I have made from songs on the radio, and I pore through them day after day, looking for the perfect songs to go with each scene. If I had a dual-cassette recorder, I would put all the songs onto one cassette and listen to them all at once, but as it stands now I do a lot of tape-switching to get the right mood.

In a way, that's what is happening in this movement of the symphony that is "Hurt." We see the characters "change the cassette" from running and violence to pure, unabashed romantic and heartfelt love. The chat exchange between Rose and the Doctor at the beginning of the chapter was inspired by a conversation I once had with my mentor, Dr. Randall Harbadash, during my sixth year at Concordica Community College. I was studying home agriculture, and Dr. Harbadash was my dish garden instructor. We chatted many times over the computer.

The love scene is taken from life as well, but not with Dr. Harbadash. He had been injured during a routine minesweep of a local jicama field and had his libido blown off, so he was sterile as a mule. Believe me, we tried. I used to love to braid his beard hairs and listen to him talk about how yoghurt was made.

But, I digress. The point is, the Doctor and Rose's love is real and true and full of passions. Coming up next, we change the cassette again and see things that just. Might. Scare. You.


	5. Chapter 3

Hurt: Chapter 3

Author's Note – the song for this chapter is "Murder in the Red Barn" by Tom Waits, from the album "Bone Machine." It's very scarey and atmosfearic. Which is perfect because we're going to scaaaaare you!

_There was a murder in the red barn  
Murder in the red barn  
_

It was dark in the TARDIS when the Doctor waked up. He wanted some banana coffee, and so he put on his jimjams and slid out of Rose's naked, loving embrace of love and stumbled out into the hallway.

There was a watermelon standing there, waiting for him.

_The trees are bending over  
The cows are lying down  
The atumn's taking over  
You can hear the buckshot hounds  
The watchman said to Reba the loon  
Was it pale at Manzanita  
Or Blind Bob the raccoon?_

"You," the Doctor said warily.

"You got to help us," the melon said, pleadingly.

That was the last thing he was expecting the melon to say, aside form the fact that he wasn't expecting a melon to be able to talk at all in the first place.

"Why." He asked. "Should I help you?"

"Worshippers United are not what they seem. On our planet Fanficka they pretend to worship us as gods, to hold all others to impossible standards of purity and excellence that only they can be like. Anyone who falls short is reported to the government, and then the government puts them to death. But the truth is that Worshippers United EAT US BEHIND EVERYONE'S BACK! THEY SLAWTER US, WORSE THAN ANYONE THEY'VE EVER REPORTED! But, there's more, doctor."

"What?" The Doctor asked.

The melon leaned in closer. "They're on the ship with us right now."

The Doctor looked around. Scared.

_Pin it on a drifter  
They sleep beneath the bridge  
One plays the violin  
And sleeps inside a fridge  
There was a murder in the red barn  
A murder in the red barn  
_

"How did they get in here?" He asked.

"They're everywhere," the Melon said. They own the universe.

The Doctor scoffed. "Ha! They might think they do, but they're about to find out differently."

There was a clang somewhere in the ship. The Doctor stiffened. He, Rose and the melon weren't alone. There was someone else in the tardis. With them. Right now.

_Someone's crying in the woods  
Someone's burying all his clothes  
Now Slam the Crank from Wheezer  
Slept outside last night and froze  
Road kill has its seasons  
Just like anything  
It's possums in the autumn  
And it's farm cats in the spring  
There was a murder in the red barn  
A murder in the red barn  
_

"Where are you!" The Doctor shouted, spinning around and turning the lights on. "Get out of my ship!"

"Doctor! Rose cried, running out of the bedroom where only moments before they had shared so much loving goodness. "What's going on?"

"Stay with me," The Doctor said, putting Rose behind him protectively with his protective arms of protection. "I'll protect you."

Just then, there was a huge explosion that rocked the ship. Rose, the Doctor and the melon fell to the floor in a big pile, thought hey managed not to shatter he delicate melon. Explosion after explosian rocked the ship back and forth and they rolled back and forth on the floor, always careful not to let the melon get crushed, until suddenly someone stepped out of the clouds of smoke that were filling the hallway. The Doctor heaved a sigh of relief at the sight of the beautiful woman, clad in a black leather bomber jacket with a TARDIS patch on the back, Union Jack print jeans and blue trainers, her bright pink hair standing out in all directions. She was armed, she was beautiful, and her lip gloss was unsmudged.

"Who's that?" Rose cried."

The Doctor got to his feet and swept the woman up into a loving kiss and embrace. "This," he said, "is Timelord 1. A cyborg warrior queen from the planet Gallifrey. I thought she was destroyed when the planet was lost, but here she is, beautiful as ever. Hello, my love."

"There's no time for that now," Timelord One said, holding up her awesome hand to stop the Doctor talking. "You know I love you, and that our love is stronger than anything either of us have ever felt before, but now isn't the time. We must stop Worshippers United from killing you and Rose! Hi, Rose, I'm Timelord One. I'm a cyborg, and I'm the Doctor's true, true love. Sorry about that."

Rose shrugged. "It's okay. You're so awesome I can't help but love you myself."

Timelord One winked. "Maybe there's something we can do about that later."

The Doctor clapped his hands. This is going to be like Christmas!"

_Now thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's house  
Or covet thy neighbor's wife  
But for some  
Murder is the only door through which they enter life  
_

The Doctor, Rose and the melon followed Timelord One out of the clouds of smoke and into the TARDIS control room, where the gang of thugs calling themselves Critics United…oops…I mean Worshippers United…had assembled. Their queen had settled herself on the jumpseat like it was a throne, and was dripping with fake jewels. She pointed her hand at Timelord One and her friends and made a gurguly noise in her mouth and throat.

"You!" She gurgulled. "You have violated the rules of the planet Fanficka! You will be put to death!"

Never! Timelord One cried. You can't hurt my friends!"

"You slaughter watermelon every chance you get and eat it yourself!" the Melon said. "How can you pretend to inforce the rules for everyone else when you don't follow them yourselfs?"

"Because we are the ultimate authority," the Queen said. "And we're the ones inforcing the rules, and you're not, so you're just going to have to take your ugly melon ass on out of here before we cut you up and eat you. As for your human friends…"

"Timelord," The Doctor said.

"Cyborg," Timelord One Said.

The queen scoffed. "Ha! Like it matters! You're all going to die! Get them!"

_Now they surrounded the house  
They smoke him out  
They took him off in chains  
The sky turned black and bruised  
And we had months of heavy rains  
Now the raven's nest in the rotted roof  
Of Chenoweth's old place  
And no one's asking Cal  
About that scar upon his face  
'Cause there's nothin' strange  
About an axe with bloodstains in the barn  
There's always some killin'  
You got to do around the farm  
A murder in the red barn  
Murder in the red barn  
_

There was a terrible fight as the Worshippers United attacked the Doctor, Timelord One and Rose, but Timelord One was an awesome cyborg, and the coolest OC the world of fanfic has ever seen, and she pulled out her SUPERLASER out of her stylish leather bomber jacket with the TARDIS patch on the back and began shooting! Soon all of the Worshippers United were gone, alle xcept for the Queen, who was crying and had wee-wee'd herself.

"Plesae don't hurt me, Timelord One!" The Queen said. "I wont' do it anymore!"

"I don't believe you!" Timelord One said. "Because you are hippocrit. Your the biggest bullies in the galaxy, but all that we needed was a gun-toting Mary Sue to put a stop to you!"

"You're so brave, Timelord One!" The Doctor said.

"I'm in love with you as well, Rose said."

"You're going back to the planet Fanficka in shame, and you're going to apologize for trying to push everyone around all the times, and your going to grow a watermelon patch and raise healthy watermelons for everyone to eat, because nobody knew this until this point in the story, but the reason the watermelons were so important was because everyone on the planet fanficka needed to eat them, but the Worshippers United wouldn't let anyone but themselves eat them and so they were the only healthy ones."

_Now a lady can't do ntohin'  
Without folks' tongues waggin'  
Is this blood on the tree  
Or is it autumn's red blaze  
When the ground's soft for diggin'  
And the rain will bring all this gloom  
There's nothing wrong with a lady  
Drinking alone in her room  
But there was a murder in the red barn  
A murder in the red barn_

And so Worshippers United was exposed as a bunch of jerks and Timelord One was named president of the universe. The Doctor and Rose and her had good sexytimes together. Alot.

Fin?


	6. Hurt Author's Notes on Chapter 3

Author's Notes: Hurt Chapter 3

Have you ever looked through a telescope? I have.

This story is probably nothing more than a meaningless exercise of nothingness, but it actually has a purpose. Did you laugh? At least once? Can I ask you, what the hell more do you want from fanfiction? Its sole purpose is for enjoyment. People who love their favorite characters and their stories want to express that love in more creative ways than just having an action man on their desk or a t-shirt to wear once in a while. What's the harm? So, sometimes the writing isn't Pulitzer quality. It's a chance to enjoy beloved characters one more time, in ways the show/movie/manga's creators might not have thought of, but is no less enjoyable….if you are capable of getting over yourself and appreciating fanfiction for what it is.

Anyone who has to make a personal crusade out of bullying, insulting and intimidating people who are just expressing love really isn't worth any more attention than I've paid them here in this stupid little story. Let them come after me, let them take this story down. I'll be back, with a lot more goofiness and stuff for them to cast aspersions at. I welcome it, because I know my skills as a writer. They are not being expressed here. I have a thick enough skin to accept the slings and arrows any self-important, self-named critic might have to throw at me. I would much rather they focus their rancor on me than go after some aspiring young person who wants to simply test the water and see if writing is something they want to pursue. These creeps could destroy the confidence of a budding writer, and that goes beyond bullying, that goes beyond being obnoxious. That is tantamount to sin, and for that these people need to be stopped.

If you are a thicker-skinned writer like me, if you know your talents and don't need reviews for validation, why don't you put some proper sh!tfic out there, set up a few more windmills for these idiots to tilt at? Take the heat for the more sensitive writers that they could inflict serious damage on with their hate.

Thanks for reading my goofy near-satire, and I hope that some other writers will stand up with me and draw their fire until they can be stopped entirely.


End file.
